Our website has a great deal of things for people to read on it. These things are subjects like entertainment, education, communication, cyber gratification, and even for information gathering. You can browse around to your heart’s content, download whatever you want, and have all of the fun you desire. However, please be aware that everything on this site is ours. This means that you cannot try to steal it by removing our copyright symbols or trademarks to sue for your own nefarious purposes. These things exist for a reason and you do not want to find out what happened to the last people who stole from us.
On a lighter note, you know what we are talking about so you would never do this, right?
Also, please don’t try to do things like modify, distribute, transmit, re-post, reuse, or do anything like copying and taking our pictures, audio, video, or writings unless you ask us first and we grant you permission. We probably will not allow you to do this anyway, but you can always ask!
When you do visit our lovely site, please know that you are both obligated and charged with reading the terms and conditions that are below. This is not an obligation you can get out of; it is one you have to do, not like telling someone you will help them with something and then ditching out. This means anything below you read will be obeyed, not only in your home, but also on other sites you see on the Internet, the World Wide Web, or the city of London in United Kingdom. You should not start an adventure into this website if you have issues with this.
If you do have problems with the aforementioned things, you will do nothing but find trouble later on if you do not obey.
Below are what you might say are our Ten Digital Commandments for Cybersurfers that decide to visit our lovely site.
- 1The first thing you need to know for both your sake and the sake of anybody on this site is that everything on here is copyrighted. This means that you cannot use anything unless we say so. You cannot “just borrow it for a minute”, “use it to prove something”, or any other such thing. It is ours and you have to ask before you use it or take it from our site. You can only use the things you see on our site in ways that we allow; otherwise, you have to ask us. You probably will not get our permission as we have stated, but trying is always fun for us to see people do. Our lawyers will probably say you cannot use it even if we say it is okay, so please just do not ask, it saves us a lot of trouble and we don’t like talking to lawyers. They are scary.
- We do try our best to include accurate things on our site. However, do not think that just because it is on the Internet that it is 100% accurate. Since our site is a hub for all types of entertainment, please take it at face value that it is for fun, not serious business. If you use something on our site and do not take into consideration that it is just for fun, you cannot come to use later and complain. We will not be held liable for it, and you will not get anything out of us except a “ha ha we told you so”.
- Anybody who helped us create this site, as well as us, are not going to ever be held liable for damages that you suffer when you use information garnered from our site. Our lawyers want us to let you know that we have this thing called a disclaimer. It states and includes “direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is provided to you ‘AS IS’ WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A CERTAIN PURPOSE, OR ANY TYPE OF NON INFRIGEMENT. Please be aware that certain jurisdictions might not really allow and exclusion of any implied warranties, so some of the exclusions mentioned above might not really apply to you. Check the laws in your area for any things that restrict or limit anything regarding the exclusion of these warranties. “. Yes, we had to put all of that in quotes. Yes, we know you just had to read all of it and it was horribly confusing. Think about what we felt writing it! However, it is all-important and we had to quote it because the lawyers say it is the only legal way to get the point across. Does not really clear things up, does it? Anyway, to make it easier to understand, just keep in mind that if you are browsing around our site and get a virus or otherwise blow up your computer or home, we are not responsible for it. If these things happen to you please do not contact us. You can tell us, but we will not care, because of all that fun stuff we quoted to you above!
- If you do not want people to know something that is happening to you, please do not be silly and post it on here. You need to keep private stuff to yourself. However, we have no problem sharing all of the wonderful things you put on our site because it becomes our property once you put it up here. We can publish it, transmit it, broadcast it, share it, and post it wherever we want after you post it. We will probably even send it to your parents and direct relatives just because we can! So be careful about what you write or post. Anything that you post on here gives us the right to use it in any way we want. We can use concepts, knowledge, expertise, and any techniques that you post for our own purposes. This means that we can develop, manufacture, and market things that you post on our site, so be careful what you post.
- If there are pictures or anything on our site that you see, please be aware that we are using it with the permission of whoever owns said pictures or property. It is not your property by any means; it is ours. We do not share. You and your Internet friends cannot use it, so do not try, we do not want to see any memes or funny things from our site on your site. Our lawyers are like ninjas and they will get you. You can only use it if we say you can, but you already know how that goes. It does not go. It does not happen.
- 6. You will notice a whole bunch of logos, service marks, and trademarks on our site that we own, or that we are using. These are ours. These are not yours, do not take them and use them because you think they are neat. If you do not leave the poor things alone and instead bother or change them, therefore disrupting their natural habitat, we will be forced to send the ninja lawyers after you. This means we will also go crazy and so will the people that you messed with concerning the aforementioned logos and such.
- There is a good deal of links to other sites on our site. You have probably noticed these, but if you have not then you will eventually. This does not mean, however, that we are actually doing a thorough investigation of the links and sites ourselves. What this means is that you cannot blame us is you click on a link and see something that scares you and forces you to put your children and cute animals into hiding for the rest of their lives. You can click whatever you want, but know that it is at your own risk.
- Now, we get to talk about the things that you do on our site. We want you to know that we are going to occasionally pop in and check out what you are talking about in our chats and forums. We can spy on your because it is our site you’re using, so you have to be okay with that. At least we told you, right? With this in mind please understand that we do not take liability for anything that you might see on these locations, or for any mistakes, libel, slander, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography (nakedness), profanity (potty words), or scandalous things that you see. If these things offend you then you should go somewhere else. Also, do not be stupid like many Internet goers are. Do not post anything that is scandalous, mean, pornographic, obscene, or that qualifies as omissions, falsehoods, or potty words on our page. These types of things that end up being inflammatory, defamatory, libelous, threatening, unlawful, or just plain evil will probably get you into trouble. Do not do anything that might be bad enough to get the police, CIA, FBI, NSA, or PETA (because animals are people too) after you, much less our ninja lawyers. You also need to be sure that we really do respect your privacy, but if we feel like we are being threatened, or that anybody else might be in trouble, that we will contact the proper people to deal with you.
- There are some neat U.S. Patriotic laws that protect the software that we use on this site. Therefore, you are not going to be allowed to send the software to people in places like Libya, Cuba, Iraq, Iran, Syria, North Korea, or anywhere that has embargoed goods from the United States. This also means that you do not give this information to anybody who happens to be on the United States Treasury Department’s list of Specially Designated Nationals, the U.S. Commerce Department’s Table of Deny Orders, or The Creepy Moon People on the FBI Most Wanted List. The last one might seem silly, but please just be careful; you never know whom you might be talking to. If you live in any of these wonderful places, you actually should not even be looking at this page, so please clear your history and burn your hard drive. Thanks!
- We can change our web page and anything else on the site whenever we want to. This might seem unfair to you. You might not be able to find that awesome picture anymore that summed your entire existence up and want to go on a rampage. Sorry, not allowed. This is our site and we can change it whenever we wish. This means that you have to stick with those changes even if you do not like them, when you visit our site, so please keep that in mind.
Additionally, please be aware that if anybody decides to use that horrible word “sue”, then we have some special Geneva Convention rules in place for just this type of engagement.
This means that the agreement is governed by the laws of the United Kingdom, without any regard to the principles of conflict with laws.
This means that if you have violated or threatened www.betterposture.net in any way, large or small, or any of its affiliated sites, that we or any affiliated sites are going to be able to seek injunctive relief, or any other relief, that we or they feel is necessary in the United Kingdom federal or state court. This means that you consent to the jurisdiction and venue in these types of courts.
Any other disputes or problems that you run into will be dealt with as follows:
If any type of problem happens under this agreement, we will definitely try to solve it in a way that includes a mediator that both sides have agreed upon.
This will happen in United Kingdom. The costs that are created for any type of agreement like this will be shared equally between us. If it becomes clear that nothing will come of this, such as a mutual solution that is satisfactory, then we are going to submit the problem to the binding arbitration in the United Kingdom and the American Arbitration Association. The judgment will then be rendered by said arbitrators, and entered into a court with jurisdiction.
This might sound mean and complicated, as well as diplomatic, but you should see the types of things that our lawyers (who are ninjas, mind you) wanted us to do before. We cannot even put it on here because apparently torture and sacrifice is not allowed anymore, so the lawyers had to figure out other ways to punish people.
They weren’t happy when we included the Geneva Convention information, but I bet you feel safer now, right?